No, I am not a dumb redhead!

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I am not a dumb redhead!

First, redheads are not dumb! Second, ok, ok, I am cheating, but I have been cheating for so long that I have more the personality of a redhead than a brunette! And there is one thing I hate among almost everything is to be taken for stupid on a Sunday morning at 9:00 am! Wouldn’t you?

Some months ago, I received the form from the Census Bureau, and filled it out immediately and sent it back. I just don’t wait on those things otherwise they disappear in the fourth dimension that exists somewhere in my soon to be ex house. I am not even sad about it anymore, by the way. My ruthless landlord made sure that my heart was not broken anymore. He took me for stupid too, and the main result is that now I can’t wait to get out! So, ok, is it because I have an accent or because I am a redhead that people think I am dumb? I have news for everyone: I am not! From my sweetheart Landlord with the dollar signs in his eyes to the Charter House Restaurant in Alexandria and now the Census Bureau!

I answered the phone and that lady one the phone asked me if I were me. I said yes! And then, she asked me to state my name???? I told her you just said it! How many times do we have to acknowledge that I am who I am? I asked her if they were calling me because they did not receive the questionnaire back, and she told me no, they did receive it – Wow! I did something right! – but they were now checking the answers??????? Then, she started reading me all the articles related to this case, trying to demonstrate that if I don’t answer, basically I am good for Guantanamo Bay for the rest of my life!

I don’t know if you know that about me. I have a flaw, ok, I am not PATIENT! And I just cannot stand dumb people, I just can’t! And, then, she went on with her questions…. that I have already answered, but since the Census Bureau thinks that Americans are stupid, they call you to ask you the same questions to be sure that you will give them the same answers. As Judge Judy said: “it’s easier to say the truth, you don’t have to remember your lies!”. To give you a clear image of me, I was changing the filter for the A/C while talking with that Census agent. And she asked the whole nine yard again! “Yes, I live here. No, I did not have anyone with no visa here – WTF? – Where was I on April 1st? Are you freaking kidding me? I don’t remember what I was doing a week ago, and YOU want me to remember what I was doing on April 1st. Ok, Ok, I got it! It’s April’s Fool, right? Then, questions about my lovely daughter, Jessica?

“Is she living with you?” “What’s her address on the campus?” “Where was she on April 1st?” I let her answered that one! LOL! Then came far more complicated questions! I don’t know why, but my lady was focusing on the month of April. Dumb me! I sent back my Census form too early, and now they have no idea what I was doing in April? So, like a hammer, she was questioning me…. I mean, give me a break? What was her background? The KGB or something? “Last April, were you in jail?” WHAT???? “Were you in a shelter for abused women?” ????????? “In a psychiatric ward?” Gosh, I was not, but I might just end up there now! “Were you in a foreign country?” I WAS HOME, HOME, HOME! And while answering her, I was hammering my poor filter which did not need that kind of treatment! Sorry filter, I just got overwhelmed with the Census thing!

At one point, we were done. I mean, after I lost 15 lbs (I wish!), and was so exasperated that I almost needed a bag to breathe! Then, she asked me if I was willing to answer a few questions in order to judge her performance…. Are you kidding me? We have serious problems in this country, we are in the red: China almost owns us, and you want to tell me that my tax dollars are paying for thousands of people calling every head of family to ask the same questions that they have already answered in writing. Do they really thing at that Census thing that American people are so freaking dumb that they have to make sure that we understood the questions????

I am telling you, we are really screwed up, but screwed up or not, I am not a stupid redhead! You got that?

Iconoclastically yours,

Dominique

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categories Lifestyle, politics | Dominique May 17, 2010

27 Comments to “No, I am not a dumb redhead!”

  1. By Kermit Rambo, May 17, 2010 @ 12:47 pm

    Definitely believe what we stated. Your explanation was certainly the perfect to understand. I tell you, I usually get irked when folks discuss problems that they plainly do not know about. You managed to kick the nail close to the pinnacle and explained out everything without complication. Maybe, people normally takes a sign. Will more than likely return to obtain additional. Thanks.

  2. By physical therapist, May 17, 2010 @ 10:34 pm

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  3. By Tinn Itus, May 18, 2010 @ 7:37 am

    I was looking on google and found your post, you have a lot of really good info here!

  4. By Anna Cook, May 19, 2010 @ 11:29 am

    I was searching on yahoo and came across your article, you have a lot of really good information here!

  5. By George, May 19, 2010 @ 12:24 pm

    I just love the way you write. Where did you study? I just enjoy so much your style. It’s just unique.
    And your stories! You are so funny!

  6. By Dominique, May 19, 2010 @ 12:26 pm

    LOL! Thank you! I did not really study for that. Don’t know! Must have had a wicked fairy above my crib!
    Years ago, indeed, when I was 10 I guess, my teacher did not believe I was the one writing the essays we were supposed to write, and she put me in an empty classroom after school to write the next essay! Funny thing!

  7. By Ric, May 19, 2010 @ 12:47 pm

    (squinty eyes) I knew it! There was something fishy to me about this go ’round of the census so mine did get lost and I felt bad for a sec and thought well thats that. Thankfully too! The temptation for me to mess with the person calling me would have just been too much and given we live in 1984 almost fully realized … its perhaps best I didnt, you know! Youre fortitude has to be applauded though, and I salute you. Great post Dominque, just like like Jess said it was, one of your most entertaining! Thanks much

  8. By Dominique, May 19, 2010 @ 4:20 pm

    I have to admit that I had fun writing it!

  9. By Zenman, May 19, 2010 @ 4:31 pm

    Are you sure that was a REAL census worker? A friend of mine is temporarily working for the census bureau (cuz he has been out-of-work – thank you, Wall Street). They are actually amazingly strict about what they can and cannot ask and are super strict about protecting privacy (really, dont worry – all you conspiracy nuts out there). (But, as usual, loved the post).

  10. By Dominique, May 19, 2010 @ 6:43 pm

    Yep! If you google the number, you will see it is the real thing, and on top of it, a girlfriend of mine had a call from them too, and she was freaked out since they called her on her cell, but she did not give them her cell on the form, just her home number! And they have been busy calling the American people! 866 851 2010

  11. By Georgia, May 19, 2010 @ 6:49 pm

    I got a call from them too. First, I thought they did not receive mine. The guy told me they just wanted to check my answers to be sure they were accurate?????? I feel exactly the same way than you do, but wouldn’t have known how to express it as well as you!

  12. By club penguin Cheats, May 29, 2010 @ 8:30 pm

    Hey, this is my first comment on ur site. I’ve been reading it for a while in my RSS reader but haven’t commented before. :) Anyways, thanks for the post.

  13. By ultrasound technician, June 1, 2010 @ 11:41 pm

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  14. By Zenman, June 2, 2010 @ 10:43 am

    Ok. I passed along your post to my friends who are working for the census bureau and they loved it. But I know they are more intelligent than the person (or persons) who called you. Maybe quality control in DC area is bad! And btw, by saying “I am not a dumb redhead” are you implying that this is an exception (most redheads ARE dumb) or that redheads are not dumb, but others (i.e., blondes) are? (You know me – just a trouble maker).

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  16. By Amy, June 4, 2010 @ 8:48 am

    I got a call from them too. First, I thought they did not receive mine. The guy told me they just wanted to check my answers to be sure they were accurate?????? I feel exactly the same way than you do, but wouldn’t have known how to express it as well as you!

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