Iconoclastically yours!

Three guys and a truck

Iconoclasticallly yours by www.iconoclasticallyyours.com is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 United States License

I know, I know, I have been silent for a while? Until today, I did not realize how much I missed my keyboard, except that it’s a new keyboard since my beloved laptop decided to die on me the day I needed it the most, but that’s another story. Now, that I am back at my keyboard, surrounded by boxes, opened, unopened, half opened. You mix that with the mutts lying between them and you get the picture. Anyway, I did not realize until this minute that my brain was boiling with thoughts and that I almost needed tens of drains to get all the words out. Imagine my spiky hair and drains sticking out with words bubbling around like soap bubbles! Wouldn’t it be a cool picture?

I moved. Yes, I did. I left my lovely house in the middle of nowhere to be in the middle of somewhere. In order to do that, what did I need? MOVERS! Yeah, you got it! I used to have a great company, Town and Country. Great guys, energetic, nice, non smokers, and they did so many moves for me: homes, my shop, but then I had a claim against them for a broken marble top, and apparently they don’t want to hear from me anymore. Chris Plummer if you read this, you are going to enjoy it, believe me, and I bet you will think: “That will teach her!”

Since it was kind of a last minute thing, I found those movers called “Prestige Moving” (http://www.prestigemovingstorage.com). I can tell you this right away; the only thing prestigious about it is their NAME! Nothing else. I don’t know if I ever told that story on my blog, it’s a Yiddish joke: It takes place in a “shtetl” (a small town) in Poland. There is that guy who goes to see his rabbi, and complains about his household which is so noisy that he cannot study the Talmud. The rabbi listened to him, and then, with a smile, told me to get a goat. Our guy doesn’t get it, but still goes to get a goat. I could have loaned him the mutts if I had known him but since he did not have this privilege, he got the goat.
A week later, he comes back to the rabbi, and told me that now with the goat in the middle of the kids and the wife, he cannot even hear himself think, and the rabbi told him: “Get rid of the goat.” The next day, the guy comes back and thanks effusively the rabbi. He is so happy. His home is now so quiet, and he can go back to his studies…..
Take Prestige Movers, and you will get the same results. I am telling you! They arrived on time, but the foreman was very upset and was explaining to me that truck big, driveway small, no truck on driveway. I discarded that, and after a while he decided to give it a try! And it worked!
We started with the paperwork. Yes, I knew already that I was paying extra to have my piano in one piece brought to my new home. Then, he pointed out the scotch tapes, saying that anyway, nothing to initial there. He had to use scotch tapes, and I had to pay for it $ 5.75 a roll. I kind of discarded the scotch tape from my brain, and was trying to make them understand that I wanted the antiques from the basement first in the truck since we were first going home, then to a storage facility. I started to wonder after a while, if my foreman had ADD, since he probably asked me a good dozen times: Storage, home? Right? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! The other way around! And they started packing! Everything got a blanket with tapes, I swear, when I have insomnia now, I count feet of tapes!
During that time, I was not trying to stalk them but was lingering around, trying to understand the concept of their packing! Hold on a minute, this taped blanket is moving…. It’s my dog! They wrapped my DOG! Just kidding, wanted to see if I still had your attention!
Every half an hour, my foreman was coming to tell me that they would be ready to go in half an hour until I pointed out that maybe they had forgotten my daughter’s bedroom, or the stuff in the patio! I am not going to make you relive the whole ordeal, but when it was time to move the wrapped stuff to the truck, they had no clue how to do it. Even I would have been a better mover at that point or Jessica without any doubt. She has an eye for those things! The foreman was freaking out with the piano, and then he started moving stuff in the truck. I tried to tell him AGAIN about the antiques in the back of the truck, and then just decided to let it go!
He started complaining about the house SO big. Just 2,000 square feet baby. Tell me about big houses when you move out the Potomac mansions!
I am not that patient and decided to help a bit by bringing my outside table by the truck with the barbecue….. Ooopppsss they have forgotten about those. That’s when my foreman started to get upset! He basically sent me to hell with the rest of the stuff and closed the doors on my barbecue! Needless to say I had then to rent a U-Haul to finish the undone job. Smart though, they left me to deal with all the heavy stuff!

Problem again when we got to the new house. He started gesturing to me: “road too small, truck too big.” I have to say I handled this with elegance. I just ignored him, but my postman, my new postman started to help him with the logistics to back up the truck!
The mess went on of course! What can you expect when everything is sausaged with blanket and tapes? I am not psychic, and how could I figure out where everything was going or even if it were going home? Like a mad woman with aggressive clapping scissors, I was going after every foot of scotch tape to get my furniture butt naked again!
The storage trip? I don’t even want to talk about it, ok? But when the exhausted foreman gave me the pink slip, I choked at the almost $ 300.00 of scotch tapes! Are you kidding me? They should have been called “The scotch tapes Maniac” instead of the Prestige crap! I paid, filled out a survey and no, I won’t refer them to any of my friends? My enemies? I have to think about it. Sorry guys, but I don’t have that much hate in me!
My foreman came proudly at the end to tell me that he had been in this country for 3 months and he was so happy with the way he was handling the English language. I know I know that English is not the official language, but Russian is not either, ok?
Yesterday, I was looking for Zeus’ cabinet. Of course they put it in the storage, and of course it was the first thing they put there, so I had to dig among buffets, chairs, and tables before reaching it. Zeus is now home. Jackson developed a love for Frisbee and Bud Light! This morning, he was trying to open the fridge! And it was not to get a diet coke! So, I would say that everything is back to normal in Mutts town!

Iconoclastically yours,

Dominique